At a loss

I don't know what to do. This is the first time that I've experienced true failure on a diet. I followed Atkins to a t...and I lost some weight and am now gaining. This is the second time. I am trying to decide...stick to atkins, or try something else...I can't believe it...I hate this feeling of failure and hopelessness. Anyone out there? Any advice??

Back to school

It's back to life as usual. The kids are back to school today. I am very frustrated. I weighed myself today and I am up 2 pounds. I went off the plan one evening this week, just one evening, then back to perfect the last 2 days. I took my blood sugar this morning and it was high after no sugar all day yesterday!! When I was younger, all I had to do was give up soda and I'd lose weight...what is going on!!! The drama today is going to be staying on track even though my numbers are up. This has always been the struggle for me. I feel like, whats the point. I am sacrificing so much, for what!?!! If it is working, then great, it's all worth it. But if it isn't, then I just feel like an idiot!! I am going to try to stay positive today, and on track...God help me!!!

1/1/10 A new beginning

I am so exited for this new year! In this new year I have so many goals.

1. I want to return back to the ways of my youth. It was so easy for me to believe the best in people. To not be easily offended. To go the extra mile for people, and expect nothing in return. As I've gotten older, and have more responsibilities, pressures, and have more life experience, I've become wiser, but more hardened. I've been hurt, as we all can get, but I don't want that to affect who I am at the core, any more.
2. I want to enjoy every second with my family. I don't want the little stupidities of life to steal my todays. My husband and 4 kids are the answer to my prayers from my earliest memory. They are a gift from God and should be cherished. I adore you Anthony, Evan, Rachel, Brian and Isabella.
3. I won't let anyone get me "crazy" anymore. We all have those people in our lives that we love, but love to push our buttons. I have control of myself...not them.
4. And of course the weight. I just exercised for the first time in months...and I want to do it every day!

That's it for now. Happy new year to anyone reading this! Peace and blessings to you for 2010!!

Day 4

I've been following the plan...I am ale to stay away from carbs rather easily, but the amount of food that I eat is still a problem. This diet is s scary because of the high caloric intake. So, I weighed myself this morning to make sure that I wasn't gaining weight, and I lost 7 pounds in 4 days!! yeah!!! I feel energized now!!!

Still day 2

I am doing great today, only one problem...how do I stop eating. I am full, very full. I ate steak and eggs and bacon today. All of which are allowed on Atkins. I am really full, but I still want to eat. I find myself going into the kitchen and standing in front of the open refrigerator. I cannot fit one more thing in my stomach, but I still want to eat. This is a problem...

Day 2

Day 2
For some reason, miraculously, I have no cravings. Although that Nutella in my cupboard is so pretty:) I started on Atkins day before Thanksgiving...crazy right? My thought process was, if I want the "results not typical" effect,(You know, the small print at the bottom of every weight loss ad success picture), then maybe I need to not be typical in my approach. I didn't do the diet exactly right. I always thought Atkins is all the cheese , nuts, cream and meat that you want...not exactly. I lost about 9 pounds, then gained 3. I was so bummed out that I decided to go off for Christmas. And did I ever!!! Oh, and it wasn't just Christmas. It was the 23 rd of December, because I was making cookies. The 24th because thats Christmas eve, then of course Christmas day...I was sooo happy when my daughter decided to demolish her gingerbread house, revealing all of the glorious candy. Before I knew it I was with the kids, eating every sugary morsel. I was the only adult there by the way. On the 26th I woke up with the nastiest sugar hangover. I still have the migraine. Thats when I decided...ENOUGH!!

So, today I had my eggs, a la Anthony, coffee...and am feeling very content. At some point I am going to have to throw out the Nutella. Just cant bring myself to do it today.

The first step

Hello,

My name is Michelle and from this point on I will be writing about my "journey to the promised land". What I mean by that is that I've always struggled with my weight and now forty years later I'm making my final exodus out of a place that I have never wanted to be in. I love my life...I am married for 18 years, have 4 amazing children, a wonderful career, and now, I want this aspect of my life to come into place. I wanted to express my thought in this very public forum, in hopes that sending these thoughts that I have on this journey will in some way help. It can't hurt right??!! I am the ultimate "professional" dieter. I've tried everything...seriously everything short of surgery, and failed. It's not the diets, it's me...this I know. I am going to be 40 this year. That made me think of the Israelites...wondering in the wilderness for forty years before entering the promised land. Maybe this is my milestone...this is my year...this is my time, turning 40 and exiting bondage, headed into the promised land. I am starting today...not on 1-1-10...but today. Wish me luck. I plan on making this journey with whoever wants to take it with me.